Attempted to enter the record books

So last weekend I make a valiant attempt to enter the record books as Bishops Stortfords first man in space.

My attempt was launched not from a conventional rocket launch pad but from the top of a steep earth mound. My propellant was not rocket fuel but pedal power, from my mountain bike.

The concept was that if whilst accelerating down the steep earth mound one jams ones front tyre, one will then get flung at some speed and height over the handlebars and ultimately achieve lunar orbit. Alas, in my case gravity proved too much and after a second or so of free flight I hit the frozen ground like a 75kg sack of potatoes, making a fine "crump" noise as my internal organs bashed together and all the air in my body was expelled. I did for a few seconds think I had achieved lunar orbit as there were a dazzling display of stars in my eyes but alas everything then went black for a while...

For a while whilst I lay there flat out on the ground unable to move I thought it was going to be ambulance time but thankfully not, just a badly bashed head, shoulder & ribcage, along with a glancing blow to the knee as my bike cartwheeled over the top of me.

And my abiding memory - the three lads playing footie in the field, one of them shouted out "ooh, that's gotta hurt". Yup, you were right - it hurt then and it still does now, 10 days later. Alas I'm going to have to scrub the first training ride of the season which was this weekend in Brighton, hurts too much to do a serious ride.