DNF

Stonehenge 200km. May 17th.

OK, let me just list out in rough chronological order the things that went wrong on the ride yesterday:

1) It rained. Not just a little bit but big time. Torrential downpour for around 3 hours then gusty showers for the rest of the day.

2) I got wet. Not just a little bit but really really wet. You would not believe how wet.

3) The roads were flooded. Cycling through 2 to 3 inches of water at times, streams running down the sides of roads etc

4) 50km, first puncture. Rear tyre. Why is it always the rear tyre that's the harder of the two to fix?

5) 75km, second puncture. Rear tyre again...

6) 100km lunch stop. Nice plate of bacon eggs and chips. I grab the salt cellar and pour it on the chips. That's quite a big salt cellar I was thinking and hm, the granules are quite big as well. Oh turds, I've just poured a pile of sugar on my chips.

7) "Stonehenge 200km". You know, I was sort of expecting the ride to actually go past Stonehedge. I've never seen it and would like to have. Well, I saw a brown tourist sign pointing to Stonehenge and a tourist bus marked "Stonehenge tour" but that was it. I think we went near it though.

8) Military police. Why did you stop me cycling along the road just so one of your army buddies on some mountain bike event could go across it?

9) Watercress festival??? After 160km the last thing I want is a 5km diversion because a village has shut it's high street to have a watercress festival. Watercress festival? Please.

10) 165km my trip computer packs up. Waterlogged probably. Not helpful when the route sheet says "at 171.8km turn right into unmarked road". Er, right, what road's that then...

11) 175km, third puncture. Rear tyre again (and yes, they were all different punctures before anyone asks whether I fixed it properly before). But alas I was only carrying two spare tubes so that's it, I'm shagged, no way of getting back to base now. The air was blue in that country lane. Decide to cycle along with flat rear tyre for a bit to the next village to find help. Can't be far, surely?

12) 185km Yes, it was 10km to the next village. 10km on a flat tyre... Found a garage, called a taxi and bagged my first "Did not finish" for a couple of years.

But apart from that it was a great day out.